I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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