you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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