found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
