I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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