Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
