So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
