I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
