I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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