Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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