she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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