I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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