Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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