we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize