We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize