She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
