is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
