Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
