I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm just crazy horny about you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
