I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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