Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
foreskin is a definite game changer
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
