guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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