I look better un-naked...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
