I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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