I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
