My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize