Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize