(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I didn't notice because vodka
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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