I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
