Porn is love you can see.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
