he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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