Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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