He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
