Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
