Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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