What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
