Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
