she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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