what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
