hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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