We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize