Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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