She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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