So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
