shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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