if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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