You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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