Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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