A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize