you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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