is your mom at the bar?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
