Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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