Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if only i could text you this smell
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
