More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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