i don't like sucking hair
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
