It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
