i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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