You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
