i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it glows. i had to have it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
